Monday, March 16, 2009
hey gerl.there is something I want to tell you.
You might not know how much you mean to me once.
Yes I know i did love you, but not anymore because you dont deserve it.
Ever since you have become christian, you have change, no longer the girl I use to know.
I never had the feeling that you once given me after that, instead more quarrels.
I was shocked after seeing what you wrote.
You say that you did your best.
And if that is the case your best is a real torture to me.
Do you know how much I have suffer mentally and physically being with you?
I did not have enough rest and i was so stressful.
I was so worried that whatever I do just simply make you unhappy.
I did not even have a breathing space.
Your friends and family believe you because of what you write and said to them.
but your friends will not know how much I have done for you.
And do they know that whatever I do is just to hope you can appreciate what i done.
But you never.
Did you even thank me for waking up an hour and a half earlier everyday just to travel from woodlands to your place so that i can accompany you to school?
did you even notice how worried am I when you are sick and I would be by your side and make sure you are alright?
and of course, I did so much for you because I love you last time.
I did lie to you before. I would not deny.
But have you wonder why I would lie to you?
Have you thought that if you could be more understanding and not push me to a corner, I will not feel that stress and pressure?
like what is the point of an explanation.
But do you know that it actually means a lot to me?
Im not saying Im right or wrong.
Does always keep saying that I lie to you so important without understanding the reason?
You are just being so childish.
Do you really think that others will pity you by writing and saying all that?
I doubt so.
Frankly speaking being with you is not easy at all for me.
The truth is I was not even happy.
I thought that nothing matters more than my love for you.
But you keep proving me wrong again and again. Im disappointed in you.
The world does not revolve around you my dear.
For the past one year I have been thinking about it.
And comparing the times Im with you and without you,
I definitely know what the best is for both of us.
And to correct you, loving is not about tolerating but compromising.
The point is I had enough of you, sick and tired.
I would not regret with my decision of being with her.
Because of just few simple things that she do which you may not know it.
She understand my position without complaints even to her disadvantages and respected my friends and family.
We are able to come to a compromise if we had any conflicts.
It takes both hands to clap.
Think about the time when we are together.
We are always finding which party is at fault, which is ridiculous and unreasonable.
It only cause more argument. Most importantly, she appreciate my efforts.
You really have to feel guilty that she still defend you when i talking about how pathetic i am when i with you.
And whatever she had done you had not done any.
With the attitude that you have, do you think i will care if you tell me you find another new bf? And if you think that I never appreciate you, you are wrong.
I really want to thank you for being devoted to me.
Everything that you have done, Im really grateful.
And I never think that I understand you well enough because people like you are not worth my judgement.
You are just too demanding for me.
Im sorry I am not the right guy for you.
Maybe Im not good enough for you.
But you have to know that you are my priority last time.
And I loved you. Remember this, for your own good or what, just because somebody does not love you the way you want them to, does not mean they dont love you with all they have.
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